My wife and daughter went out of town and I thought I'd cultivate a rare day of debauchery--you know the drill... light a bonfire, drink some beer, fire off a few rounds of the front porch, urinate proudly off the edge of the driveway. Since the wife wasn't going to be home for a couple of days, I said, "what the hell, it's Spring. I'm going to sleep in my hammock on the porch." I was really surprised at how well I slept that night considering my legitimate fear that the marauding juvenile raccoons on our property would come mess with me, attempting to pick my nose with their hairy little fingers whilst I slept. In hinds sight, I guess I had nothing to fear--my keen, "bearlike" snoring kept them well at bay.
A few days later, the wife came back and after I admitted a few of my transgressions to her (yup, I drank her girly wine, clogged the toilet--plumber's on the way, etc.), I proudly championed sleeping in the hammock as the most comfortable rest I've ever had! For awhile there, I had an epic streak going on--slept in the hammock on the porch every night for months only to stop after waking up one glorious morning with snow on my el-cheapo Walmart sleeping bag. The wife asked, are you going to sleep outside again tomorrow? I shook my head "no" which made her cry. Touched by this spontaneous genuine gesture of love and concern for my well being (because I lack all the fancy cold weather underquilts and tarps that some of y'all have) I though that this was a sign of the wife's weakness and maybe now I could get naked! After quickly being rebuffed by my wife (she's excellent at that btw), she explained that she was glad that I was going to sleep indoors during the Winter because she was concerned that our daughter would have to walk out on the cold porch in her pajamas in the morning to find me.
So that's where I am at until Spring.
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Originally Posted by Berserkr
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