I use shock cord tensioners on my tie-outs. I got the idea from this Shug video. (Scroll to 7:20 into the video.) These keep a slight tension on my hooks and I've never had a problem with them coming off of my tarp pulls, even in pretty stiff winds. To be fair though, I haven't had the opportunity to test in a really major windstorm yet.
In a pinch, if I want more security, I simply form a small loop in the tie-out near the hook, push the loop through the tarp pull, then grab the loop with the hook and pull tight. It takes maybe three seconds. That's a bit slower than simply connecting the hook, but it shouldn't be any slower than threading a toggle. It's more or less the same action.
Come to think of it, you could probably do the same thing with your existing toggles. Instead of trying to thread the large toggle through your small D-rings, try threading a pinched loop of tie-out through instead, then put your toggle in the loop and pull tight. You can make the loop any size you want, so you won' have any problem threading the toggle.
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