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  1. #1
    Senior Member Chesapeake's Avatar
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    Exclamation Crisis on the bay ! Creepy crawlies and an unzipped hammock !

    So, many of you know by now how AWFUL my luck is , and how I normally have some sort of crazy story about once a week. Well, here's my story this week, and yes, I really do have luck that's really that bad lol....

    As I came out tonight to rig my tarp for my post on tarp origami, I looked down at the zipper on my XLC and to my horror, found it not zipped all the way closed! To most that's not a big deal, but if youve read ANY of my previous tales, you'd know that I have a serious spider, assassin bug, earwig, mosquito and possessed raccoon problem. At this point I quickly realized that I migh have to burn my whole rig to the ground, right there between the trees, since I had a code 4 security breach of my zipper and any number of evil, creepy, poisonous, rabid, flesh eating, blood sucking insects or small face eating animals could have set up a new home in the small inner folds of my hammocks whipping or nestled in the warm dark corners deep inside my CDT TQ.

    I went into CM , or " crisis mode" as I call it, and began to frantically yet carefully, shake, smack, hit, dump, yell at and tear apart my hammock and TQ with the hope that anything inside would not wanna stay after all the violent shaking and loud girlish screams of a grown man completely grossed out and panic stricken. And after about 5 mins I felt it was safe to put my hands in to clean out any hidden webs or creatures that hung on for the ride. After checking every inch of every fold and corner inside and out, I started to feel a little better and made myself lay in it to check for any hold outs and bugs with a strong will to live. I then funded my TQ inside out and threw it in the dryer to cook any remaining creatures from hell.....

    So, here I lay, telling myself that I got them all and I'm safe from any of the nasties that I know watch me sleep at night from their webs and perches high in the trees above me. Did I get them all out? I hope. Am I still freaked out? **** right I am. Will I ever rush to close my zipper again in the morning when I have to pee really bad and I over slept because my kindle died since I forgot to charge it all the way? HELL NO! I'll pee my pants before I don't take the time to zip up all the way again! Because next time, I just might have to bury the whole **** thing at sea or have a giant hammock fire...... And I would definetly cry like a girl then, lol.
    " The best pace is a suicide pace, and today looks like a good day to die." ~ Steve Prefontaine

  2. #2
    Senior Member bkrgi's Avatar
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    Man ...you need some serious counseling there.
    The idea of burning your rig over a wee little bug(s) is just so so wrong....
    Maybe you just better stay inside the hammock and order wife service..though that may cost you dearly.



    The dead cold of winter is sounding pretty good now...no bugs
    Life is too Short to not feed the addiction....Hang on and explore the World

  3. #3
    Senior Member
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    This may be the best post I've read on these forums (at least this week). Having never met Chesapeake, my brain automatically substituted an image of an acquaintance of mine that has 3 children and currently works in State Corrections.

  4. #4
    Senior Member TrailSlug's Avatar
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    Seriously, you really need to find a new place to hang.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Wanderlost's Avatar
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    Ok. That's a level worse than me. Have you considered a nice shot of something or other before getting in the hammock? Honestly though, I've done that...but it's ticks. I have this irrational fear of a red meat allergy.
    73 de W4BKR

    Not all who wander are lost... - J.R.R. Tolkein
    ...Besides, if we get lost, we just pull in somewheres and ask directions - Captain Ron

    The ever striving gram weenie...always updated with the next trip

  6. #6
    Senior Member Chesapeake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LTMillar View Post
    This may be the best post I've read on these forums (at least this week). Having never met Chesapeake, my brain automatically substituted an image of an acquaintance of mine that has 3 children and currently works in State Corrections.
    Lol, I have 3 children and used to work for Delaware DOC. And the thing is, it takes quite a lot any more to scare me, I've seen a man hang himself right in front of me, and another slit his own throat and bleed out before I could get the door open. But spiders? NO WAY JACK ! Ever since I was a kid and watched Arachnophobia, and saw the old man get bit from one in his slipper, I check my shoes every time before I put them on lol. And living where I do, its inevitable that I'm gonna have a spider problem lol. I just love my hammocks enough to deal with it. But burning it all down? You betcha. I would cry like a little girl if I had to, but there's no way I could ever sleep in it if I knew they could be in there. ( I wouldn't really burn it down, but you know what I mean lol)
    " The best pace is a suicide pace, and today looks like a good day to die." ~ Steve Prefontaine

  7. #7
    Senior Member NarlocB's Avatar
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    I can actually hear the girlie scream all the way in Frederick. It is very very impressive!!! Just remember, if needed......drink 8-10 shots and then go to bed.....if they bite you they will get contact drunk and then everyone can be friends!!!
    When the wife asks, I simply say "Shug made me do it".

  8. #8
    Senior Member
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    I thought I was bad with reactions to bugs.....Now I can't WAIT to meet you Chesapeake!
    I'm weirded out by the tick stuff....spiders, kind of... and bees or wasps....well....I just don't want to think about it.
    It's amazing any of us manage to sleep outside at all.

  9. #9
    gunner76's Avatar
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    Of course you could treat your hammock with Permethrin but then you would not have any stories to tell
    I am still 18 but with 52 years of experience !

  10. #10
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by gunner76 View Post
    Of course you could treat your hammock with Permethrin but then you would not have any stories to tell
    I'm a big fan of permethrin but it does nothing for Hell Beasts.

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