Rules from the Hammock gods.......

**Dead Man** · 03-22-2017, 10:57

Saw a post in another thread and did a quick search. Thought this might be interesting for a light lark. I am a believer so all of this is very tongue in cheek. Bonus points for not reusing the same numbers or rules. It pays to read....

I'll get us started.....

Hammock god rule #1: Thou shalt NOT go to ground....

Hammock god rule #13: Thine bladder shall be ready to burst between the hours of 1:00 and 4:30 a.m..
Hammock god rule #13;a: Bladder stress must drive you from the hammock when the ambient temperature is below freezing.

Hammock god rule #53: Thou shalt plant thyself on thine tail bone once when testing thine suspension for no other reason but to curb thine unmerited pride.

Enjoy.

**BigE94** · 03-22-2017, 11:08

# 1034 (bet I didnt reuse any numbers there... no reading required.

) Thou shalt not sit between thine hammock and underquilt.

**Doc Homer** · 03-22-2017, 11:24

Rule #72
No matter what the forcast, if thou decideth not to put up thine tarp it shall rain.
Homer

**Doc Homer** · 03-22-2017, 11:27

Rule #73
Spinning drunk whilest swinging in ye hammock is not a good combination
Homer

**obmit** · 03-22-2017, 13:38

Rule #9832
Those in glass hammocks should not throw rocks into creek....

**TrailSlug** · 03-22-2017, 13:42

Rule #-1 - Thine perfect hang site willst have no wood for thine fire.

**BananaHammock** · 03-22-2017, 14:35

Rule #22 Thy hanger that tries to avoid the wind will surely catch it the most that evening.

**Dead Man** · 03-23-2017, 04:49

Originally Posted by obmit

Rule #9832
Those in glass hammocks should not throw rocks into creek....

ROTFL

I don't think I'll ever forget the look on that lady's face....or on yours. You got style Tim. You got style.

**tstark** · 03-23-2017, 06:37

Rule #71
The winds shall blow hardest during set-up and tear-down times.

**Flash Grundelore** · 03-23-2017, 16:15

Rule #$$-
Thou wilt always see gear that you believeth to be better than thine. Thou shalt be drawn into covetousness of such gear, and thou wilt then spendeth monies such that thine spouse shall disapprove of ye.